What have I been up to?

​In the past week, I've been asked by different individuals "Hey, what have you been up to?".  Perhaps people have been asking me this all along, but because it's been one year since I left my corporate job, I might be a bit more sensitive to the question.

Its like the universe was knocking at my door and holding me by the lapels asking "It's been a year!  What have you accomplished?".   On one hand, I found myself responding with some kind of ho-hum Charlie Brown response tinged with a bit of self-deprecation and flat affect.  On the other occasions, I also responded with gravitas and a "I've got it all" BS response.  These were immediate flags to me to check-in with myself - take inventory, reflect and be real.

May 1, 2018 was my last day working for a corporation that afforded me financial stability, knowledge and skills development, leadership development and a plethora of smart, kind and talented co-workers.  Why did I leave?  I choose to align my work with my heart.  It became clear that my duty in life was to Teach, Help and Serve. 

I began living out my dharma by creating a company that highlighted by passions of Teaching and Coaching.  I finished by RTY500 and eRYT200 Yoga Certification, and I taught yoga as much as I could.  I worked with clients in one-on-one settings, in classrooms, and began to lead Yoga Teacher Trainings in Indiana and Colorado.  I deepened my spiritual practices of meditation, chanting and studying yoga and Ayurvedic teachings. I planned and led a retreat to Maui.  I supported my husband as he started a new company and renovated our 110 year old home. I enjoyed the summer with my boys and picking them up from school.  I found joy in my proficiency of making chai and kitchari.

So the above sounds all perfect - Instagram and Facebook worthy, right?  Well, here it is the vulnerable side of it.  I was brought to my knees several times.  I screamed, wept and lost my marbles aimed at business, kids, ex-husband and yes, financial uncertainty.  There were days that I literally did nothing and got lost in doing nothing.  I struggled with uncertainty with giving up control.  I fumbled at trusting that things are going as planned, letting my ego go, staying in Love and being in Joy and allowing myself to be inspired.

So, let me be real.  All the accomplishments and pits of despair would have been there if I stayed in the corporate environment.  What I've gained in this journey is the space for self- reflection, opportunities to pause and change unsuccessful behaviors, finding joy in the simplicities of life and most importantly learning to trust in Self.  

In actuality, it wasn't the universe knocking at my door holding me accountable, It was the universe kindly reminding me that I am on the right path.